As a parent, it is both your right and your responsibility to know how your child is doing at school. But trying to get this information from your child can be, as the old saying goes, "like pulling teeth."

With a little information and preparation, you can have an actual conversation about school with your child. Here's how:

• Stop drilling your child about homework. Not only does your child dislike it, but it contributes to a negative attitude about homework. Let your child use the first 20 minutes at home to settle in and have a snack. Save your (gently-worded) homework questions for after that.
• Be specific. If your child can answer you with one word, she will. Example: "How was school today?" "Fine." Instead, say something like: "I know you worked hard preparing for those essay questions on your history test. How did you answer the first one?"
• Encourage your child to advocate for herself. If your child is having trouble, your first thought may be to tell her not to worry--you'll call or email the teacher. But you're not the one who is struggling--your child is. So instead, say "Let's brainstorm some ways for you to approach Ms. Johnson about getting extra help in English class."

Reprinted with permission from the December 2009 issue of Parents Still make the difference!® (Middle School Edition) newsletter. Copyright © 2009 The Parent Institute®, a division of NIS, Inc. Source: Emily Graham, "Have a Conversation About School," SchoolFamily.com, www.schoolfamily.com/school-family-articles/article/733-have-a-conversation-about-school.